I’m not ready for what’s to come. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stood at what seemed to be the start of something great and found myself disappointed. Maybe there’s something I’m doing or not doing that is causing this type of outcome. All I know is that this life has the makings of something amazing and I had the makings of someone great. Well, that’s what I thought, but clearly I was wrong.
I thought that nothing could stop me from achieving my goals and that if I worked hard enough then I could climb the highest mountain and swim any sea. Unfortunately, I’m afraid of heights and I can’t swim. So, I’m stuck here on solid flat land trying to wrap my head around things that I don’t know how to change. I’ve tried time and time again, but I find myself right back at this same spot.
Even in my dreams, I go around in circles and find myself back at square one. I don’t know who’s in charge of my life, but they are not doing a very good job. Even when one area of this haunted house gets better, something else gets pulled out of it’s place. It’s like my life is a fitted sheet that simply too small for the bed. You fix one side and the other side comes off. Yeah, that’s life in a nutshell.
Anyway, I’m still not ready for what’s to come. I can barely face those things that have passed. I stare down at my bowl of oatmeal wondering how I got to this point. How did I get to this point? This point right here, cause I don’t even eat oatmeal. I hate the stuff and yet here I am. Just like the fitted sheet, it just doesn’t fit.
None of this fits the image I had in my head.